Efficiency Expert

Tonight I was a model of efficiency.  I did my homework while my laundry was washing, got my masturbation out of the way while the laundry was drying, and now I'm ready to go to bed!

Clearly I am a role model for you all!

I don't want to do my homework . . . la lala la la la lala laaaaaaaaa

I really don't. My homework tonight is something I have been postponing for most of the semester.  "Write 4 reading responses to the readings . . ."  Bleh.  I have done three, and the last one is due in no more than 4 hours.

The problem is that my first three were truly excellent.  They were amazing pieces of research and tied disparate events, readings, and techniques together with grace and panache.

(What's that?  You think I'm being arrogant?  Bitch, please.  This is me being humble!)

But tonight I'm unmotivated.  I'm far more interested in staring out the window and counting how many times the police pass by after Papa Bear called them to report the five gun shots we heard earlier.  That's how a lazy Sunday night ought to be spent.  None of this malingering over dull homework.  Sigh.

Motivate me!  Give me your inspirational words!

Handjob, Bland Job, I Don't Understand Job

Catticus Finch

The cat seems to think that because she spent 30 seconds licking my hand, I am either morally or legally obligated to scratch her head with that hand. 

I refused. She insisted. I ignored her. She bit me. 

She can take this to the courts, but as she is lacking a signed contract and now has a history of using violence to resolve disagreements, I am confident that my side will prevail.