People, bleh

I'm not too keen on people today.

-- At Starbucks. A college girl asks the drink guy if they have free wifi. He tells her she can have it if she has AT&T DSL at home (true) or if she buys a gift card for 5 dollars. I mention to the girl that she can also just buy 2 hours for $4. Now, I don't know the girl's situation, but I do know that when I was in college, there was many a time when I had 4 dollars, but not 5. So, I just mention this to her as an option, not rude at all. So then another customer says in what is undeniably a rude tone "No, don't do that, it's cheaper the other way." I tell him that of course $4 is less than $5, and it's a two hour limit today either way. "Yes, but it's only 5 dollars!" he responds impatiently. And the other way is only $4, dude. And then he tells me that there isn't a time limit with the gift card -- even though the drink had just said that there is! The other patron is, of course, very wrong.

-- My school semester is suddenly over. I attended every class and turned in every assignment on time. I never got back a single homework assignment -- assignments I had spent 10-15 hours each on -- nor did I get any feedback on my class presentation. Nothing. I have two end of semester projects to turn in, and I have no fucking clue what my grade in the class is currently. The icing on the cake is that the last class was scheduled for this Thursday, assigned reading listed in the syllabus, discussion planned and everything. Then someone pointed out via email to the class that the semester technically ends on Wednesday, so the teacher dropped us with a class is cancelled, you've been a wonderful crowd, try the fish. I'm really mad at her. I've never taken a class like this before, and I really wanted feedback. If I don't make an A, I'll be very angry that I never had an opportunity to improve. If I do make an A, I'll still be angry, because how will I do in my next class? I might as well not have taken this one for all that I learned.

And doing the work hasn't been easy, either. I scheduled a number of days off throughout the semester before key assignments were due so I'd have time to work on them, and she changed the days of the assignments. I picked a class with a Saturday "On Campus" day, and she switched it to Thursday. I carefully selected this class based on my research of the professor, and then they switched it up and gave it to her.

I'm just really disappointed.

Re: My Life

Okay, kids, a few important notes:

-- The Roommate Formerly Known as the Candy Formerly Known as Eye has officially been renicknamed to Papa Bear. That's what I call him around the house, anyway. A free prize to the person who can guess what he calls me (you are automatically disqualified if I already told you or if someone I told tells you or if someone I told tells someone who tells you, and so on). I really will send a prize if you can guess, but I bet no one can.

-- Despite having had him as a roommate for over 3 months, I am still startled to run into him in the apartment at least weekly. For example, about five minutes ago he walked into the room I'm in and started talking. This was enough to cause me to yelp and get all scared-eyes on him. "What? Me watching a horror movie in the living room has you scared enough that just walking into the room freaks you out?" No, dude, it has nothing to do with the movie; it's just you.

-- I got my hair all doned up this morning. I had it colored! A first for me, and I won't be one bit surprised if it just all falls out overnight, like how having a car washed makes it rain. What color? Brown. What color was it before? Brown. But this is a nicer brown! I swear.

-- And in conclusion, that is all.

Okay, now, if Lucy had simply done this, everyone would've believed she'd been to Narnia, Peter wouldn't have questioned her sanity, Edward wouldn't've betrayed them to the White Witch, and JESUS WOULDN'T HAVE DIED!!!!

The Train

Sometimes in the morning when the Roommate Formerly Known as The Candy Formerly Known as Eye and I get on the train, we sit in seats that face each other. My seat faces all the forward facing seats in the car, and as I gaze upon the faces of the people, I feel compelled to give a speech, something that starts off with “My loyal subjects . . .”

The decrees I would make would be petty – “Peon 5 to Seat 12” and “Metra Man, fuck me” – and a clear abuse of my power, but I am sure that given enough time, the people would grow to love me, their benevolent ruler.

Ah, if only.

And here's how our conversation trails off as we walk into the office:

Him: No way! I say modified deli slicer is the way to go.
Me: And I say guillotine.

Good times.

In the Bathroom in the Morning

Both parties are brushing their teeth. The Roommate Formerly Known as the Candy Formerly Known as Eye choked slightly on his toothpaste, making a funny sound. I laughed through my toothpaste-filled mouth.

He spat. "Hey," he said. "I'm not like you. My gag reflex hasn't been deadened."

Zing.

When tiny Mexican grandmothers bring you rice and beans and salsa and chicken and tortillas and a lime, just because you always work late and because your roommate is Hispanic, it doesn't matter that you aren't too keen on either Mexican food or hugging; you are bound by law to hug her and choke it down.

That's just the law.