I know that my steady, twice-daily patronage of my local Starbucks during these harsh economic times has probably meant that a few of the employees here have been able to continue making regular payments on their Vespas, but I do think that they're just much too happy to see me.

I went in this morning, and first the perky, plump redhead greeted me. "Megan!" she gushed. "Your hot chocolate, of course!" and bustled off to prepare it. "Megan!" Vicky the Stepfordian cashier exclaimed. "How are you, Megan? Doing okay, Megan?" Then from behind me -- the guy from the evening shift, in to get a coffee of his own: "Well, hey, there Megan! Fancy seeing you here again!"

Look, Starbucks folks. I'm glad you like me. Sometimes it's your approval that's all that gets me through the day. But it's too much. You're like that boyfriend who steals your toenail clippings and wears them in a vial around his neck so that a part of you will always be with him . . . always . . . forever. Please don't be that guy. And please tell me that you don't keep the cups I throw out as keepsakes.

A cornocopia of items of interest:

First, and of the utmost importance to all readers, my birthday will be taking place again this year. It happens to fall on the same day as last year, July 11th. I expect all of you to call me with glad tidings at 773-764-4069. If you don't have something nice to say, say something dirty.

Second: zomg, I'm going to Turkey in 18 days! I'm excited and terrified. One cool thing: I have calculated in US dollars how much I'll be spending on hotels for the 13 nights I'll be there (4 different hotels, as we'll be moving around a bit), and the whole shebang, with tax, comes out to . . . $589.48. Wow. That's an average of $45.34/night. Pretty good! Want to see where I'm staying?

Here: http://www.barinhotel.com/
And here: http://www.kiwipension.com/
Then here: http://www.helenhotel.com/
And finally here: http://www.nezihotel.com/english/

Any advice for a first time world traveler? How to stay entertained on an airplane for +10 hours? Must-have items for traveling? A recommendation for a decent camera for an amatuer without delusions of grandeur to take?

Thirdly, I made a fool out of myself today, attempting to parallel park. As a sidenote, everytime I spell "parallel" properly, unaided by any sort of spellcheck, I feel a little thrill. Parallel. Parallel. Pararararllellelelllelelelelellllel! It's a fine word, the sort of word you'd want to take home to meet your parents. In regard to parking, however, it sucks ass. Arizona may be a stinking cesspool of racism these days, but one thing you can say for the place, by gum, is that it doesn't mess around with any of this parallel parking, no sir. Straight in, straight out, you're done. We call that urban planning, bitches. Look into it.

Fourthly, Papa Bear is in Lebanon this week, having wacky adventures, no doubt. The cat and I miss him. We'll just have to take comfort in each others arms in his absence.

Fifthly, Lake Shore Drive is the only road I know where I can drive 15 miles over the speed limit and still be left in the dust by everyone. And there's a whole lot of everyone to be left in the dust by! I don't know who they're kidding with their little speed limit signs on that road. It's not even that people look on them as a suggestion; no, they see them as an insult.

That's all for now.