Please note: you have only until the day after the day after tomorrow to prep yourselves for my birthday. This occasion is not recommended for those with heart problems, chronic back pain, pregnant or nursing women, or individuals under 42 inches in height.
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How many inches is 6'3" (or 4")? Am I safe? What if I am laying down? Does that still count as "height"? I seem to be sitting now, though.
Wait.... you say your BIRTHDAY is coming soon? Why didn't you tell anyone? Is it some big secret or something? When is it? Day after tomorrow? What day is this? I am so unprepared......
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