Just in case some of you have forgotten, my birthday is this coming Saturday and so you need to call me to wish me a happy birthday. It's no good calling a day in advance or a day late -- it must be on the day, or it doesn't count. I won't be home all day, of course, since the Candy Formerly Known as Eye and I are going to the Art Institute, but you can maybe leave a message if I manage to hit the answering machine in the right spot to make it work again. At the very least, caller ID will let me know who I'll still love come Sunday.

773-764-4069, okay? Don't forget.