The post where I'm depressed

I just kind of despise my life right now.

And by "right now," I mean right this second. An hour ago I was fine, and in another hour I'll be fine, but right now I just hate it.

I ALWAYS feel guilty about something, just always. I have these cans of paint that have been sitting around my apartment since June, but I've only painted three rooms. I lose things constantly -- a credit card, an I-Go membership card, and so on. I'm always behind on my accounts at work and scrambling to keep up. I left grad school a million years ago, and I'm probably never going back. I need to do laundry.

The tipping point was work today. I had such a tidy plan for my weekend! Saturday morning -- go to work, do reports. Saturday afternoon -- go to grocery store, clean kitchen, tape room for painting. Sunday -- paint dining room and do laundry. Here's how my weekend has been: Saturday morning -- sleep and masturbate and sleep and masturbate. Saturday afternoon -- go to work, get very little done because two others were there and we goofed off. Saturday night -- hang out with others. Sunday morning -- be up in time for work, be dressed in time to catch train, miss train because I couldn't find my fucking wallet. Sit around at home 2 hours feeling sorry for self and waiting for next train.

Yes, I'm having a good time, but I'm not doing the stuff I need to do, and the feeling of guilt will never go away. How do people not feel guilty about stuff? Where's the on/off switch for that shit?

In other news, it's the 21st fucking century, and there's no reason at all for any software in the English-speaking world to call out "couldn't" as a misspelling. Contractions are here to stay, bitches.