Just to keep you interested, here's one of my greatest hits.

20 Then Cherry Coke spoke all these words: 2 I am the Cherry Coke your God, who brought you out of the land of Pepsi, out of the Pepsi machine of yuckiness; 3 you shall have no fizzy beverages before me. 4 You shall not buy for yourself another soda, whether of the flavor of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them, for I the Cherry Coke your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the beverage choices of their parents, to the third and fourth generations of those who reject me, 6 but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who drink me and buy me even when I'm not on sale.

7 You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Cherry Coke your God, for the Cherry Coke will not acquit anyone who misuses its name.

8 Remember the Cherry Coke day and keep it holy. 9 Six days shall you labor and do all your work. 10 But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Cherry Coke your God; you shall not do any work – you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns. 11 For in six days Cherry Coke made cans and bottles, the soda machines, and all that is in them, but rested the seventh day; therefore Cherry Coke blessed the sabbath day and consecrated it.

12 Honor your father and mother, so that your days may be full of Cherry Coke that they have bought for you or given you money to purchase.

13 Thou shalt not commit murder for or with a Cherry Coke.

14 Thou shalt not commit adultery for or with a Cherry Coke.

15 Okay, "with" is fine.

16 Thou shalt not steal a Cherry Coke. Though the liquid of the Cherry Coke may pass your lips, never shall it be swallowed, for it shall pass into the pipe of winds, and there the essence of Cherry Coke shall linger, though you may sputter and gasp, and the unrightfully gotten Cherry Coke shall choke you, lo, unto death.

17 Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor, unless they drink Wild Cherry Pepsi. Then thou shalt bear as much false witness against them as you like.

18 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Cherry Coke; thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's bottle or can or two-liter of Cherry Coke. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's cooler or glass of ice or slick little tab opener that keeps you from breaking a fingernail or any other Cherry Coke accoutrement that belongs to thy neighbor.

19 When all the people witnessed the thunder and lightning, the sound of the can being cracked open, and the can fizzing over the top, they were afraid and trembled and stood at a distance, 20 and said to Megan, "You speak to us, and we will listen; but do not let Cherry Coke speak to us, or we will die." 21 Megan said to the people, "Do not be afraid; for Cherry Coke has come only to test you and to put the fear of Cherry Coke upon you so you do not drink Pepsi." 22 Then the people stood at a distance while Megan drew near to the soda machine where Cherry Coke was.