"Chicago! She lives in Chicago! It must be so exciting! So glamorous! I'm so jealous! I wish I lived there!"Yes, yes it is that, and more. And because you've been so excited to see where I live, I thought I'd give you a few views of my pad.
Right here, friends, is the glorious view from my front window. With its dead sticks claiming to be trees, its slushy streets, and a sky as grey as my roots, Chicago is unmatched in its winter beauty. (I included the street sign so you can stalk me. Y'know, if you want. No pressure. I'm not saying you have to stalk me, I just think it would be nice if someone would stalk me once in a while. Hey, I know you're busy, I know you have a life, I know you can't be out stalking me every night....
But if you loved me, you would.)
And here I give you the view from the back door.
It is glamorous, isn't it?
All kidding aside, we got a shitload of snow a couple days ago. See?
What a waste. All that snow should be melted down to give water to a third-world village for a week. Or . . . or . . .
SNOWMAN!
Why is he screaming?
"You bitch! You fucking plucked my eye ou
t, you fucking bitch!"Wha-? I plucked out no eye!
"Oh yeah? Then what's that?"
Ummm . . .
"You're a fucking psycho, you know that?"You know what? I think it's time for your meds now.
"Meds? I'm not any m--ARGHHHHHHHH!"
Sorry, boys and girls, Mr. Snowman had to go. Hope you enjoyed your tour of my home!
"I . . . hate . . . you . . ."Aw. I love you too, Mr. Snowman.
2 comments:
had a little winter fun did we? so...uh...have you thought maybe you could do with a little medication? i'm just sayin'...
mmmm . . . pills!
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