I have my first dentist appointment tomorrow in . . . longer than I care to confess. I have all the usual fears: will it hurt, will it be expensive, will the dentist call the entire office staff in to laugh at my x-rays. I'm hoping that in the four score or so years since I last visited a dentist they're come up with such incredibly modern and revolutionary techniques, I'll only need to sit through 5 seconds of a laser pointed in my mouth, then come back in 50 years for another cleaning. Along with my jet pack, hover car, and miracle zit cream, I feel that the 21st century owes me a hell of a lot in the way of superior dental care.